Angels and Demons hatching chaos!
by WeShallSmiteYou
Summary: Insanity and pure randomness, a plot of sorts and characters that are mostly completely out of character, rated M for language and just to be safe, spoilers up to the season 6 finale, consider yourself thoroughly warned!
1. Prologue

**Prologue – This shit just got real **

Now if this wasn't the hell of a kiss... Of course kissing a demon helped with making it the hell of one.

Castiel wasn't exactly sure why he had ever thought of doing this with Meg of all people - or hadn't thought of it earlier, sometimes he just wasn't sure what he wasn't sure of - but maybe the fact that they were all facing certain death - Damn wasn't that a cheap phrase to use for them considering how everyone had been resurrected at least... twice.. three times? Really who wouldn't have lost count by this point? - helped a lot.

Then again maybe the angelic equivalent of hormones and the fact that Meg basically was the only woman who was around at the time - and the only woman who was around regularly who hadn't already died as well - was what made him show her what exactly he had learned from the Pizzaman.

What absolutely and totally wasn't the case was that he had just done it because she had kissed him first and he wasn't to be outdone by a demon-girl... no Sir, absolutely not! Really now... Stop implying such utterly ridiculous and dreadful nonsense!

Also if anyone gets to show how 7 minutes in heaven is played it's the angel!

And it wasn't like Castiel had ever thought of that kiss again, not like he would write a diary-entry about the incident he wasn't even thinking about in the first place.

It still was too bad they never saw each other again after that one time...


	2. Chapter one – Memories in Pink

**Chapter one – Memories in Pink**

It was early in the afternoon when two bickering brothers found themselves driving to a sparsely visited salvage yard in the possession of one Bobby Singer. As the black Impala finally came to a halt their argument still wasn't settled. So they barely noticed a rather stressed looking angel of the Lord, his arms full of various items such as car license plates and what looked like some of Bobby's books as well as tea-cups. To complete the collection there also was the most surely ugliest Christmas sweater known to mankind.

The angel barely acknowledged the old-married couple or whatever they were trying to do an impression of there as he just went around the corner to pick up some more things, especially one particularly impressive piece of rubber from a nearby car-tire and then disappeared into thin air.

Sam and Dean weren't even mad at him for being this impolite because to tell the truth they couldn't care less about their friend while they were engaged in their own problems which Bobby's words of wisdom would surely help to dissolve.

"Bobby, we have a serious situation!"

"What's it this time?" sighed one exhausted and somewhat distressed Bobby Singer.

"Look I am under the impression that Sam is still missing a part of his soul and being the reasonable adult I am I suggested that we just open up the cage again and look for it", Dean started to explain in an extremely annoyed tone, "This stupid Sasquatch we have here however for some reason thinks that might be a sort of bad idea."

Bobby simply gave Dean a look that clearly said that he thought the older Winchester was completely nuts... and then to prevent any sibling rivalry from starting up yet again gave Sam the same look.

"Maybe you guys should just calm down already", he suggested in a sort of soothing tone before adding sort of disgruntled, "and do something useful for once! Like... help me find my missing copy of the Witchbreaker's grimoire from 1878."

Just as Bobby had turned around to look at the two stubborn brunettes Castiel appeared behind him and started to rummage through the shelves and drawers, a disgruntled expression dominating his usually neutral face.

"All this fuss about some old book? Now if we were talking about the newest Penthouse..." Dean started to say before he got stopped by the other men glaring at him.

"Dean, you clearly don't understand the importance of this book! It's been written by one of the Minoru's in the late 19th century and contains various spells to neutralize witches and witchcraft." Sam scolded his older – albeit shorter and by then slimmer – brother without anyone having asked for his opinion as usually.

While everyone else was still glaring at each other Castiel escaped the ongoing discussion by leaving the room and going to find a pair of Bobby's most cherished pink bunny slippers to add to his collection of 'things I borrowed from Bobby without asking but with every intention of returning them' as he called it.

It goes without saying that Bobby's day was completely ruined once he noticed the absence of his precious footwear. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed of their nature to ask the two brothers to help him look for them, which is why he had to go to bed with cold feet and an aching heart. After all the slippers had been an anniversary gift from his deceased wife. Well at least he still had Karen's fluffy Hello Kitty bathing robe.


	3. Chapter two  A Void in Belief

**Chapter 2 – A Void in Belief**

The next morning started with a shock for the two Winchester brothers as Bobby Singer, still in a ridiculous bathing robe and with tin foil pieces in his hair, nearly kicked in the door of his own guest room.

"Bobby! What the hell!" asked both the brothers for once agreeing on something as they put their guns and knives back under their pillows. No wonder they hadn't slept well in years!

"If you think this is funny..." Bobby started before Dean interrupted with a clearly amused expression, "Dude, the tin-foil in your hair is pretty funny, say what you want."

Sam had the decency to nudge his brother and whisper: "I think they are so... uhm... the color will stick better or something... as in... he's dying his hair or... something... not that I'd know how that's done! I mean sure I know how it's done 'cause I totally had that girlfriend... Jessica... the one who fried on the ceiling like mom... you remember?"

Both Bobby and Dean sort of ignored Sam, which they were exceptionally good at anyway.

"You two annoying and stupid Idjits are somehow the sons I never had", Bobby said - adding 'luckily' in his mind, "So I expect you not to laugh at my anguish and go find my bunny slippers!"

Somehow this absolutely made sense to both boys, which only showed how strange their lives were. So they only shared a meaningful look before they set out to find Bobby's most priced possession. Thinking of it like this made clear how much crap Bobby had otherwise.

As the three men descended the stairs their sharp senses immediately told them that something was not quite as it should have been.

Indeed after a few seconds of observing their surroundings it became clear that the house had never looked neater!

In fact every last thing that had been there and was not nailed to any walls or floors was missing (with the exception of one floorboard that was missing from the demonic seal in the living room).

"Dude, what the hell?" Sam voiced his confusion eloquently, while behind him Bobby did his best to fake a heart-attack... that probably was real.

"All his shit is gone", Dean explained the situation to his baby-brother, thereby assuming the title of Captain Obvious for at least as long as it would take him or his brother to open their mouths again.

"Wait a minute!" Sam suddenly interjected, "What's Cas doing there? … and why is he trying to remove one of the windows?"

"Woah, it's not even 9 a.m. And we already have two completely different mysteries to solve!" Dean gasped, "I so need a coffee!"

Then of course Dean went and got the vodka bottle straight from under his pillow.

"Nothing like a good cup of coffee to make the morning better", Dean sighed contently while the other two men shot him accusing glares for not sharing and went to get some beers from the fridge.

This was the moment when they remembered that everything was missing and this included the fridge. As had to be expected both men fell into a severe depression immediately, making Dean the sunshine of the household for about the first time in his life.

"Dean, I require your assistance", Cas suddenly stated after having successfully removed the window with his by now considered loyal – let's face it his standards were never high to begin with – crowbar.

In his usual demeanor Dean burped to show that he was indeed listening, or having problems with his metabolism, whichever.

"It is vital to the success of the mission I am currently on if you could hand your clothes over to me this instant", Castiel explained before he added casually, "Or I shall destroy you."

Dean usually didn't exactly need a reason to undress but if the angel asked this nicely he could only stare at him perplexedly, but then began to strip anyway.

"I appreciate your obedience, but the shirt and trousers will suffice", Cas nodded pleased with Dean's immediate cooperation.

"Yeah, about that... that's all I'm wearing anyway", Dean shrugged and handed his clothes over before Cas could stop him, and boy did he want to stop him!

It didn't take longer than a second before everyone was staring at Dean or rather at the fig-leaf that had appeared out of thin air to preserve his nonexistent dignity.

"Uhm... Cas...?" Sam started a question before he was rudely interrupted in the most polite tone someone could be rude in.

"Yes, Sam, I require your clothes as well, "he said before adding, "And by that I mean everything that is not directly touching your genitals."

Strangely this wasn't the weirdest thing Sam had ever been asked to do. Besides Cas was a friend and friends shared their clothes all the time, didn't they? Of course at this point Cas was more like God – or thought he was anyway – and was slowly becoming an evil dictator – for all they knew – but then again didn't you usually give either of those your clothes as well if they asked?

No matter how you looked at it removing his clothes and handing them over while Cas stared at him with those piercing blue eyes of his was just completely natural.

However Sam had barely opened the first button when the angel changed his opinion.

"I have pondered the matter thoroughly, Samuel, and hereby inform you that your clothes will not go anywhere near me or anyone I care about... ever."

"Uhm, Cas, what we should have probably asked some time ago, what do you need our clothes for anyway?" Sam asked with his trademark bitch-face now firmly in place.

So what if he hadn't washed his clothes in...

Fine, he couldn't remember when he had washed them but it had to have happened at one point or another!

Besides, Dean's clothes were just the same!

"As I already informed you I merely require Dean's clothes" Castiel retorted to prevent further misunderstandings – and possible unwanted revelations of Winchester skin of the sort that clearly went against the very laws of nature – then in the line of explanation he added – a proud smile gracing his features "And I of course need them for the installment of my nest."

The meaningful look Cas had given them still hung in the air after the angel had already disappeared again.

"Of course, his nest!" Dean stated after finishing his bottle of vodka he had scribbled 'coffee' all over earlier, "That's so perfectly reasonable."


End file.
